2011: The Year of Living Authentically

Authenticity Rising, Everything Else Falls Away

I've noticed something so far in 2011. I think it actually started just after the Winter Solstice. I've noticed it in my own life, but also in those around me.

For many people, the parts of ourselves and our lives that are not "Authentic" are falling away. For example, I see it in our career and job-hunting struggles. A conversation I've witnessed many times lately:

"I got laid off, and I can't find another job."

"Are you looking?"

"Yes."

"What do you want to do?"

"Well, I dunno. I really don't want to go back to what I was doing before..."

And no job appears. No job is going to appear, either. Because the work is not in sufficient alignment with this hypothetical person's highest purpose.

It's no longer a matter of "making money" - those kinds of jobs are both unavailable and unbearable. The economy is shifting underneath us, driving us (now, ever more ruthlessly) to our true purpose. We struggle (and have been, for some time now) to work at jobs that contribute to the illusions in our lives. We can no longer bear to feed those illusions. Our whole culture is desperate. But we're not desperate for a job - we're desperate for meaning, for wholeness, and for our personal truth. The whole economy is convulsing - wretching - from an overdose of illusion. The jobs we are looking for are jobs that feed the illusion. And the illusion is no longer sustainable.

This is the year many of us will have no choice but to drop our illusions. I sense that our illusions will be vomited out, purged, and, if necessary, violently wrenched from our lives.

All around me, I see this in the realm of relationships as well. The ability to stay in a relationship that is not authentic is quickly becoming unbearable. Wherever and whatever we have hidden from our lovers, family, or business partners, wherever we have allowed them to hide from us, wherever the real truth of who we are, what we REALLY want, and what we're willing (or unwilling) to give has been purposely (consciously or unconsciously) hidden, wherever there is this subtle form of deceit - that is becoming unbearable.

We have really only two courses of action here. We can continue to live in an illusion as it becomes more and more painful, leading to the unavoidable destruction of the relationship. Or we can stop reinforcing the illusion, and begin the hard, embarrassing, and painful work of telling the truth, while trying to avoid judgment. The relationship may still end, but there's a chance that it can transform into one based on authentic needs and honest, unapologetic service to those needs. But it will be irrevocably changed.

I am finding that the work of embracing authenticity is hard; devilishly subtle at times. And yet it's extremely rewarding. I've developed some techniques, some questions, that illuminate the illusions. They make me uncomfortable. They make me want to run away. Sometimes, they make me confused about what I really want and who I really am.

But staying with the discomfort and gutting it out is actually the least painful way to move. And it's the only way to move forward.

Website Seeks Passionate, Talented, Patient Lover...

Firefly Willows Website as Cinderella

We have been neglecting our website since our early operating days. It's time she received the attention, respect, and love she deserves.

Firefly Willows is a beautiful, amazing, and emerging place, filled with compassionate healers, exotic scents, and fascinating, interested people who are exploring the world with wonder in their eyes. Our website should reflect that adventure.

Firefly Willows wants to be a gift to our community of healers and seekers. It wants to be a home, a refuge, a sanctuary, and a garden. A safe place where we can all learn to shine our inner light. Our website should reflect that intention.

Are you the person who can bring our website to life? Can you help her bloom into the radiant creation she can be? Do you have the time, skill, and interest to love her enough?

Are you her artisan, her gardener, her lover?

If so, please contact us at info@fireflywillows.com

Personal Sovereignty Takes Root

I just bounced across a blog by my friend and colleague Cassandra Rae. Entitled Business Mind Serves Spirit Mind, it's a great glimpse of a passionate, spiritual person realizing the full portfolio of tools she has at her disposal to create the reality she's called to.

Personal sovereignty is, for me, the key to a full, unencumbered adult-hood. Choosing to be fully aware, awake, and responsible for all of my energy, all of my gifts, all of my destiny. I am still acquiring it and embracing it, and it feels great (and absolutely right).

I sense Cassandra reaching the same moment.

It's a delightful, powerful, enthusiastic read. Thanks, Cassandra!

I am

A Meditation.

I am Love and Compassion.

I am Vitality and Health.

I am Wisdom, Courage, and Strength.

I am Light and Life.

I am Joy and Abundance.

I am Laughter and Playfulness.

I am Passion and Strength.

I am Truth and I am Beauty.

I am Integrity.

I am all these things.

I am these things in the presence of tragedy, sorrow, and pain.
I am these things in the presence of sadness and loss.
I am these things in the presence of fear and dislocation and despair.

I am all these things.

Because I choose.

I choose.


This meditation came to me just the other day, mostly in this form. It felt good to recite silently and aloud. As I have written it, I've extended it a little bit -- it still feels good.

I'm thinking about it's veracity. Can I be all these things, even in the presence of the challenges that we all face? I suspect I'll revisit this topic in the months to come.

Aaaand...we're back!

Well. That seemed like a long break. I took some time to hang out with my family and relax and not think about work or blogs or schedules or newsletters. It was a great relief. (Perhaps you are all relieved, too? ;-)

We had a wonderful Winter Solstice ceremony here at Firefly Willows. We had a full house, and I was very humbled and pleased by the amazing people who came to celebrate with us. Quiet, gentle, deep, the Winter Solstice is a "thoughtful" time (for me, anyway). I was grateful for the company of my new community.

I typically spend some time writing on New Years Day, reflecting on the past year and musing about the year to come. This year, I wasn't quite ready to write. I was having too much fun with family to take the solitary time required. I think I'll probably engage this weekend. I look forward to what I'll discover in the process.

Do any of you folks write in your journals with particular fervor around the New Year?

Well, anyways - it's a new year. Firefly Willows looks like it's about to really blossom, thanks to the amazing talents and hard work of our little team. HiC (formerly at Inner Journey) has joined us as a Tarot reader , and has also taken on our event coordination role. Wow, is that a big improvement. It's very exciting for all of us here - so much going on! HiC is a real gift to us. Check out the new event calendar - very fun!

Speaking of gifts, please come by and say hello, and tell us what your gifts are. We're always looking for talented people to be part of our community. As a healing center, our goal is to connect and communicate with the community at large. The more the merrier (and the more powerful our gifts become). We're a community of healers serving the broader community of seekers. Don't be shy - tell us what you're about, what you need, and how we can help. We'll see if we can put things together to serve all.

For me, 2010 was a year of exploration and adventure - leaving high-tech and starting on this new path. Wow. Hard to really absorb how much change I've been through.

2011 promises to be a year of release, of letting go of expectations, of embracing gifts (our own and those that are offered to us). The old ways may work for a bit longer; while they do, it's a good time to get in some practice with new ways of being.

I feel like a big transition is coming. Perhaps it will be challenging, but it doesn't have to be hard or sad. Frankly, I'm very excited. I think a new day, and a new way, is just around the corner. Let's create it together!

I offer gratitude, love & blessings to all, and deep wishes for a wonderful, passionate, inspired 2011.

Resistance Is Futile

There's something about me that is dysfunctional. (Wife says, "Oh...?")

It's very much a bad habit, and it's in my way. I've been receiving guidance about it now since we opened Firefly Willows, but I guess old habits die hard.

I have grown up and lived my life as an over-achiever and as a hard worker. I have reveled in my ability to carry heavy loads, be strong, and grind my way forward. In theory, I have held this capacity in reserve, used on an "as needed" basis.

The facts seems quite different. Upon close inspection of my behavior, I notice that if it isn't hard, I don't think it's worth doing. If it isn't a struggle, I don't feel like I've accomplished anything. If it doesn't include resistance - something for me to push against - it's not a good use of my time, talent, and resources.

That's kinda dumb.

Because I end up making everything harder than it needs to be.

When I find myself in a place of ease, I look for a way to push up against its boundaries, to find the edge. To find the resistance.

This behavior is in sharp contrast to the "effortlessness" I have been guided to embrace.

Seeking resistance, I'm informed, is pointless. It's no longer useful exercise - it's just wasted energy and lost momentum. It just slows me down. Perhaps it was useful once, but no longer. I go for a walk in the woods and I see squirrels and deer. They blend effortless into their daily routine like melody in a song. I look at the undisturbed natural systems in the world and they always balance. Yes, there is death. Yes, there is loss. Yes, there is pain, in all those balanced systems. So? I know I don't live as freely as the chipmunk or the crow. My sense of security and of my place in the world is much more tenuous than theirs. I observe death, pain, loss here in this human construct we call "culture", in much greater measure than I see out there.

Effortlessness is not laziness. It's a willingness to let go of a white-knuckled grip on the wheel and take the time to enjoy the ride. It's about stopping the march and starting the dance.

In a deep shamanic trance a few years ago, my spiritual guidance fairly shouted in my ears, "STOP TRYING TO FORCE IT, AND LET IT HAPPEN!!"

Here I am, still trying to stop trying.

Rites of Passage

I keep hearing this message in my head.
"Rites of Passage". "Rites of Passage".

Over and over and over. So without knowing what I'm about to write, I begin.

I wonder: What Rites of Passage have I experienced in my life?

Certainly, marriage. Sex. Being a father. Watching my children become adults. Experiencing death. Coming face-to-face with my limits. Failure.

Each of these are rites of passage in their way. Unique. Some joyful, some tragic.

What do they have in common?

Each has had a role in illuminating Truth. Each has played a role in dissipating illusion.

"Drop your illusions...!" is another message I am hearing. Trying to heed that message is difficult, by the very fact that illusions are illusory - they don't reveal themselves as illusions voluntarily. How does one discern illusion from real?

Through rites of passage? Is that a part of what they are for? I usually think of them as marking some kind of "initiation" into something - a way of perceiving, a gateway to new experiences, an arrival at a place one cannot retreat from - no going back. Perhaps it is in that part of their nature that rites of passage dissolve illusion?

What else about "Rites of Passage"? Do they humble the ego? Do they open the heart? Perhaps they do many things. Perhaps each one works on a different part of the self, bringing it into clearer resonance with the Self.

Perhaps we don't have a very complete set of these to assist us in our "breakthroughs" of growth and perception.

My thoughts take me now to the power of grief and loss. I am meeting people who have experienced great loss, and who are still processing grief.

I have learned that the Celts believe that two of the three internal "cauldrons" of life are turned upside-down at birth, and cannot hold anything until they are righted. The cauldron of yearning (in the heart), and the cauldron of knowing (in the head), are both empty until either great sorrow or great joy turns them upright. And then they can be filled.

Somehow, I think a Rite of Passage may be key to this turning as well. If we are not prepared -- perhaps to "see" through illusion -- then these great sorrows and great joys may remain simply that - sorrow or joy - without having the effect of righting the cauldron. A missed opportunity?

Rites of Passage. Rites of Passage. Rites of Passage.

What are my Rites of Passage?

Why must I write of Passage?