Ahhh...Breakfast!

Green is Good!

I've been eating more and more raw foods. While my darling wife makes a trusty and savory ham-egg-cheddar on buttered toast sandwich for herself, I find myself trending towards something like what I made this morning:

1 Banana

1/2 Pear

1/2 Apple

1/2 Mango

1 Orange (fresh from the tree!)

4 Kale stalks - leaves, really, but the stems are so sturdy! (fresh from the garden)

4 Swiss Chard leaves (fresh from the garden)

1 handful of Goji berries

1/2 handful of Sesame seeds

1/2 handful of Sunflower seeds
1 generous scoop of Green Superfood (Chlorella, Spirulina, etc., etc.)

1 raw Egg

Generous splash of Apple juice to make the blender go...

WOW! Yummsville!

And, I probably won't be hungry until well into the afternoon....

Good stuff.

Pollen: Irritant or Medicine?

A Lesson In Letting Go

There's a lot of pollen out this week. I had a tough day on Monday, and today is a bit challenging, too. As I was sitting there "suffering" on Monday, trying to fight off the itchy eyes and sneezy nose, my dear friend and colleague Suzette Marie said,

"Maybe it's not an allergy. Maybe it's medicine for you. Maybe it's helping you to release something."

 Well. Hmmm. That sounded like an interesting perspective. I was totally game for turning something very annoying - indeed, debilitating - into something good for me, if only I could pull it off. 

Here's what I did.

First, I contemplated what pollen does in a plant. When pollen reaches the stigma, it embeds itself and creates a "pollen tube" - it basically tunnels its way from the surface down to the "womb" of the plant.

Then, I contemplated what pollen does in a human - it triggers the release of histamine. Histamine dilates blood vessels and makes the vessel walls extra permeable. 

Then, I examined what I was experiencing. Of course, it was the histamine reaction - the "symptoms" of the "allergy".

But what was that, really? What if it was medicine? Suzette said, "...it's helping you to release..."

To figure this part out, I sat quietly and closed my eyes. I calmed myself enough to notice my fierce resistance. Resistance to what? To the feeling of "swelling" in my eyes, nose, and sinuses. I was fighting hard against it. 

I took the time to feel my way through and into that resistance. I let go of "sensing the itch" and embraced "sensing the resistance".  This part is hard to describe, but I think it's useful to share.

It was as if I was blasting away with a weapon - a weapon of light and heat - that I was applying to the area all around my head. And all that light and heat was making the area around my head hot and full of a kind of fiery plasma that was "stuck" in that area. Almost like I was firing this weapon into a heat shield that was between me and the rest of the world. 

Now, I can't tell whether I was the one blasting away, or I was the one holding the heat shield in place. I just know that I was in the middle of it, and it was not a happy or productive scene.

Once I got a handle on the dimensions and depth of the resistance, I began to try to release it. To "let go". The first phase of that process was to stop seeing the situation as an antagonism. The pollen, the reaction, the "motion", I said to myself, was appropriate. It was an OK thing. A good thing. Nothing to fight. Rather, it was a release of something. (What, I didn't know).

The second phase was to drop the shield. To let down my guard and "allow" what was happening to happen.

What I found was that if I was very still, and did not try to do anything else but "allow", the feeling of "discomfort and resistance" transformed into a feeling of "quiesence and permeability", through which "something" was being released from me out into the ether. I could feel it passing out of me. 

What was this "something"? 

I'm not sure I totally know, but here's a clue: The stillness that I had to adopt was a meditation of sorts. It required me to be completely present to myself and the moment. I could not read. I could not write. I could not plan or think or be in the future or the past. Fretting about my "to-do" list only made it worse. I had to be fully present.

What I felt dissipating through this process was the compelling urge to be "doing". All the items on my to-do list, my sense of having (or wanting) to engage with the world and experience something resulting from the application of my own volitional force onto the world had to go. 

Instead, I had to be completely receptive and, I guess in a way, vulnerable.

What evaporated out of me was attachment, desire, action, drive. What was revealed in its wake, in its absence, was clarity. 

How odd that a hayfever reaction would lead to clarity.

They say that allergic reactions are more pronounced in those that lead an unhealthy lifestyle - smoking, bad diet, etc. And also in those that lead a "hyper-sanitary" lifestyle - everything sprayed with disinfectants and very restricted encounters with the "dirt" of the natural world.

I think if a histamine reaction makes one "more permeable", and an unhealthy or hyper-sanitary lifestyle exacerbates the reaction, then perhaps what pollen is doing is offering us the opportunity to reconnect with the energies of the natural world, and cleanse ourselves of those things in our lives that are impediments to doing so.

Bee pollen is know in naturopathic circles as very strong medicine. Perhaps the bees and the flowers have something to teach us about the healing power that comes from intimacy with the natural environment.

Bee Medicine

What were they up to?


It was a fine Sunday morning. We'd just finished the Firefly Willows L*I*V*E! radio show for the week, and Deb and I were home, out in the front yard, enjoying the sunshine, and doing a little gardening. (OK, we were pulling weeds...)


We noticed that the bees in our tree were pretty active, going about their busy-bee business.


After about twenty minutes or so, a neighbor and his kids were out for a walk. They stopped and we chatted. Suddenly, Deb looks up over the big cherry tree and says, "Hey, look at that!"


A big cloud of bees!


Now, bees normally swarm when the queen decides to leave the current hive (either because she's a new queen who needs to establish herself, or there's something undesirable about the hive's current location). But this hive, this gang, already had a home - and they swarmed right back to it!


So we're not sure what was going on. I spoke to a beekeeper, and he said, "Huh. That's unusual."


I'm content to have had a beautiful experience, and to have shared it with my lovely spouse and delightful neighbors (who were, under the circumstances, remarkably calm...)


Love that Bee medicine!

It's My Birthday!

Reflections on Entering "Area 51"...

First, I'd like to say, "Thank GOD I've made it this far!"

Second, I only have one thing on my birthday "gift registry", and all of you who stop by are welcome (indeed, encouraged... ;-) to give me one of these:

• ITEM: One moment over the next three days in which giver deliberately and gently cultivates beauty.

So, that's it!

Oh, wait. I never write blog posts that are that short. So, here are some observations.

At 51, some books are now incompatible with my eyes. And/or the length of my arms. I found a little pocket bible on the sidewalk this morning as I was taking a stroll. Couldn't see a thing. For all I know, it wasn't even a bible. (But it looked like one...)

I'm increasingly delighted with my life. I have blessings too numerous to articulate.

I have a very cool wife.

The best defense is a good offense. Over the last two days, I've gotten up early, and upon going out into my back yard, I've discovered an army of snails (both days!) on my fennel and coriander. Rather than try to "evacuate" them by tossing them in the garbage or something, I've decided that they'll live a life of plush luxury for the next seven days, eating fine greens. And then, they will become verrrry intimate with garlic and butter. The irony is, of course, that over the next seven days, they'll be eating lettuce from my garden. Go figure.

I'm still pretty agile. Trimmed the overgrown trees on the fenceline the other day. My neighbor was impressed with my monkey-like antics as I clambered around the tree.

What I'm afraid I look like...on a GOOD day!

I have one vanity for sure. I wish I hadn't lost so much of my hair. See left and below for a sampling of my consequent self-image. You can see why I would love to spontaneously manifest my former... hirsuteness... as a birthday present.

The bees are happy and busy. The cherry fruit-set looks to be very generous. Anticipating a delicious June and July.

Life can be fun when you're not all serious and grouchy and pressured. Who knew? (Besides Deb, of course...sheesh!)

I'm finally realizing that I'm OK just the way I am, even if I am a little unfinished.  That doesn't mean I intend to stop growing, of course. But I can take a little of the pressure off now and then. Achieving isn't everything.

There are moments when I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing - with my life, my career, my family, my obligations - everything. Then, something happens (small, big, serendipitous), and then I feel like maybe I'm not so lost after all.

I'm grateful for the beautiful home and garden that we get to live in. And for the weather here. Ahhhhh....!

I love redwood trees.

I love my dogs. I'm getting much better at relating to them. Really, it just takes a bit for me to relax into their vibe, instead of being all uptight and demanding. They're pretty cool. And quite willing to share an experience.

I could go on an on, but I have a million things that I get to do today, and this is only one of them. 

Uh oh...

Enjoy my birthday!

My "John Larroquette" look

The elder Keebler Elf

"SYNDROME" from The Incredibles (or, Jack Nicholson.)

Looking a bit like my older brother
(...oops! Sorry, Joe!)

I think I've tortured you all enough now...and now that I have not the tiniest shred of dignity remaining, I'm off to do...something else.

The Boys Are Back In Town!

(cue Thin Lizzy music...)


I know, I just wrote a post yesterday after a hellaciously long break, and here I am posting again less than 24 hours later.


But this one is short, I promise.


Mars is back.


Mars went direct last night. After 13 weeks in retrograde, he's back from vacation, and ready to come off the bench. Back into the game. I felt it. BOOOM. Like a muscle-car in high idle dropping into gear, but without the clanky lurch. It just felt like IMPULSION brought on line. But with the emergency brake still on. A horse, bridled but aching to run.


Ahhhh....


And, my birthday is on Thursday (Thor's day...). So me, Mars, and Thor are gonna have one rip-roaring, high-energy, kick-some-ass kind of launch for -my- second half. I turn 51. 

I'll keep you...ahem...posted :-)

Success - It's all in the Physics...

I spoke to a life coach this morning, Dr. Liz Zed, recommended to me by my dear friend and colleague Ana Maria Sanchez. I had to admit it - I'm starting a new career (or, several) and it's just possible that I might need some help sorting things out and getting the traction 

I need to make my new life sustainable.

I've experienced a lot of healing and growth since I left high-tech at the end of 2009. So I'm a little more than 2 years into "whatever is next", and, frankly, I feel like a two-year old. 

Which is to say, I feel grand, healthy, and a little out of control, but very determined.

Lately, the realizations and clearing of old patterns has accelerated. I'd say since last May when I first had the opportunity to meet with Dakota elder Chief Golden Light Eagle, and then REALLY accelerated since the Winter Solstice of 2011.

So there I was this morning, talking to a life coach.

What did I learn? Well, it was a meandering conversation, as first "get to know you" conversations often are, but something subtle emerged that I wouldn't have been able to hear not that long ago. 

The nugget is this: Success is all in the physics.

Success isn't about doing a bunch of things you don't really want to do, gutting it out through pain and sweat and frustration. All that stuff feeds the ego - either the "I deserve to be punished" or the "I have to earn it through hard work" or the "I have something to prove" or any number of other mis-wired messages.

Rather, it's about discerning what one really, truly wants, and then setting up the scene so that doing what you want brings you success. All the moving parts are keyed to align with the effort that comes naturally for you, so once you engage the system, it's like the system sings along with you.

Sounds simple, right? Well, the second part is, I think, pretty simple to folks with a mind for mechanics, physics, the dynamics of power, cause and effect, and so on. That's the physics. Sure, you might need some trimming and tuning by folks with domain expertise, but generally speaking, it's a system of pulleys and ropes and levers. 

The life coach said something like, "It's the difference between doing while having uncertainty about whether you're going to succeed or fail, and having a program that you know you can follow, and if you follow it, you'll succeed."

Why wouldn't we all sign up to a program that we can follow, and follow it to success?

Ahhh, the multi-million dollar (literally) question. 

I think it's because we're afraid of really understanding the first part -- understanding what we love, and letting go of what we don't. We have tapes that say "success looks like this..."(see stressed-out working stiff at right), and we're not sure we want that. Or we have tapes that say, "You can't just do the things you love - life is hard!" Or we have tapes that say, "That's a stupid, low-value, low-esteem profession."

All those tapes block us from understanding what we really want. What we really love.  And when we build a process that includes all those tapes, the physics is not working with us at all. In fact, we're setting the physics up to work against what comes naturally to us. And then sheer force of will, willpower, determination, stubbornness, stress, and heart-attacks are required to achieve the goal.

Not very enticing, is it?

Nope. Not for me.

I want the physics to work in my favor. Not boring, or even necessarily easy (no "slacker" goals here), but certainly working with the momentum of my soul, rather than against it.

Thoughts? Comments? Have you set up your Rube-Goldberg success engine to leverage the momentum of your soul?

Sharing with the Honeybees

Timing is Everything...

I've been thinking about getting a bee hive for several years now. We have a reasonably roomy yard. We have lots of fruit trees. In particular, it's important for us to have a healthy supply of bees around when the big cherry tree out front blooms. When blooms and bees connect, we receive a beautiful harvest.

Well, so I'd been thinking about getting a hive box, and learning how to keep bees, mostly because of the fruit trees, but also because - Bees are cool! And…honey!

So imagine my delight when, sometime this summer, a queen and her hive took up residence in a hollow in our maple tree out at the front of our yard. Very discrete, by the corner of the lot.

I was grateful for their presence, doing the work among the flowers. But I also wondered - would we somehow have a chance to receive a gift of honey? (I have done nothing to "prepare" to actively harvest the honey. No bee suit. No smoker. I was content just to have them there.)

We enjoyed watching the bees all last summer and fall. Winters, being mild here, don't really deter the bees.  So I would go out occasionally and say hello.

Then, some time last week, I went out to see them... and they were gone! There were no buzzing sounds, no little bodies busily doing bee business. All quiet. A fly or two. Some crawly bugs.

No bees.

I was a little disappointed and sad. I know bee hives don't last forever, but I thought, "Geez, at least it would have been nice for them to make it through to the cherry blossoming." But they were gone.

So I bravely grabbed a ladder out of the garage and propped it up against the tree.  I clambered up and peered inside.

Definitely no bees.

I reached my hand up and into the hole, and touched the comb. It was very light feeling. I grabbed it, tentatively at first, and then more firmly. I pulled and a piece broke off into my hand.

I pulled it out of the hole and examined it. Wow. Amazingly cool to see this really miraculously precise layout of hexagons built "by hand" from "hand-made" wax. Just stunning.

So I found a large plastic container and started pulling the comb out, a piece at a time. Beautiful beeswax. We would melt it down to make candles, I thought.  Mostly, the comb was empty. Here and there I found a chamber filled with pollen.


Then, as I reached further in, the comb had real heft. And as I grabbed and pulled, it became slick and sticky!

What an amazing thing. Big chunks of comb - two-sided, back-to-back chambers - filled with honey. Woo hoo!

So I pulled it all out, and began researching how to extract honey from the comb.

By the way, the honey is marvelous. Delicious and golden and sweet and tangy and raw. It's an amazing experience.
Yesterday was a beautiful day to be outside. So I went out front to pull some weeds. I looked over to the maple tree, fondly remembering the bee-ful activity and thinking again about the wonderful gift.

Wait! What's that? I looked again.

They're back.