It's My Birthday!

Reflections on Entering "Area 51"...

First, I'd like to say, "Thank GOD I've made it this far!"

Second, I only have one thing on my birthday "gift registry", and all of you who stop by are welcome (indeed, encouraged... ;-) to give me one of these:

• ITEM: One moment over the next three days in which giver deliberately and gently cultivates beauty.

So, that's it!

Oh, wait. I never write blog posts that are that short. So, here are some observations.

At 51, some books are now incompatible with my eyes. And/or the length of my arms. I found a little pocket bible on the sidewalk this morning as I was taking a stroll. Couldn't see a thing. For all I know, it wasn't even a bible. (But it looked like one...)

I'm increasingly delighted with my life. I have blessings too numerous to articulate.

I have a very cool wife.

The best defense is a good offense. Over the last two days, I've gotten up early, and upon going out into my back yard, I've discovered an army of snails (both days!) on my fennel and coriander. Rather than try to "evacuate" them by tossing them in the garbage or something, I've decided that they'll live a life of plush luxury for the next seven days, eating fine greens. And then, they will become verrrry intimate with garlic and butter. The irony is, of course, that over the next seven days, they'll be eating lettuce from my garden. Go figure.

I'm still pretty agile. Trimmed the overgrown trees on the fenceline the other day. My neighbor was impressed with my monkey-like antics as I clambered around the tree.

What I'm afraid I look like...on a GOOD day!

I have one vanity for sure. I wish I hadn't lost so much of my hair. See left and below for a sampling of my consequent self-image. You can see why I would love to spontaneously manifest my former... hirsuteness... as a birthday present.

The bees are happy and busy. The cherry fruit-set looks to be very generous. Anticipating a delicious June and July.

Life can be fun when you're not all serious and grouchy and pressured. Who knew? (Besides Deb, of course...sheesh!)

I'm finally realizing that I'm OK just the way I am, even if I am a little unfinished.  That doesn't mean I intend to stop growing, of course. But I can take a little of the pressure off now and then. Achieving isn't everything.

There are moments when I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing - with my life, my career, my family, my obligations - everything. Then, something happens (small, big, serendipitous), and then I feel like maybe I'm not so lost after all.

I'm grateful for the beautiful home and garden that we get to live in. And for the weather here. Ahhhhh....!

I love redwood trees.

I love my dogs. I'm getting much better at relating to them. Really, it just takes a bit for me to relax into their vibe, instead of being all uptight and demanding. They're pretty cool. And quite willing to share an experience.

I could go on an on, but I have a million things that I get to do today, and this is only one of them. 

Uh oh...

Enjoy my birthday!

My "John Larroquette" look

The elder Keebler Elf

"SYNDROME" from The Incredibles (or, Jack Nicholson.)

Looking a bit like my older brother
(...oops! Sorry, Joe!)

I think I've tortured you all enough now...and now that I have not the tiniest shred of dignity remaining, I'm off to do...something else.

The Boys Are Back In Town!

(cue Thin Lizzy music...)


I know, I just wrote a post yesterday after a hellaciously long break, and here I am posting again less than 24 hours later.


But this one is short, I promise.


Mars is back.


Mars went direct last night. After 13 weeks in retrograde, he's back from vacation, and ready to come off the bench. Back into the game. I felt it. BOOOM. Like a muscle-car in high idle dropping into gear, but without the clanky lurch. It just felt like IMPULSION brought on line. But with the emergency brake still on. A horse, bridled but aching to run.


Ahhhh....


And, my birthday is on Thursday (Thor's day...). So me, Mars, and Thor are gonna have one rip-roaring, high-energy, kick-some-ass kind of launch for -my- second half. I turn 51. 

I'll keep you...ahem...posted :-)

Success - It's all in the Physics...

I spoke to a life coach this morning, Dr. Liz Zed, recommended to me by my dear friend and colleague Ana Maria Sanchez. I had to admit it - I'm starting a new career (or, several) and it's just possible that I might need some help sorting things out and getting the traction 

I need to make my new life sustainable.

I've experienced a lot of healing and growth since I left high-tech at the end of 2009. So I'm a little more than 2 years into "whatever is next", and, frankly, I feel like a two-year old. 

Which is to say, I feel grand, healthy, and a little out of control, but very determined.

Lately, the realizations and clearing of old patterns has accelerated. I'd say since last May when I first had the opportunity to meet with Dakota elder Chief Golden Light Eagle, and then REALLY accelerated since the Winter Solstice of 2011.

So there I was this morning, talking to a life coach.

What did I learn? Well, it was a meandering conversation, as first "get to know you" conversations often are, but something subtle emerged that I wouldn't have been able to hear not that long ago. 

The nugget is this: Success is all in the physics.

Success isn't about doing a bunch of things you don't really want to do, gutting it out through pain and sweat and frustration. All that stuff feeds the ego - either the "I deserve to be punished" or the "I have to earn it through hard work" or the "I have something to prove" or any number of other mis-wired messages.

Rather, it's about discerning what one really, truly wants, and then setting up the scene so that doing what you want brings you success. All the moving parts are keyed to align with the effort that comes naturally for you, so once you engage the system, it's like the system sings along with you.

Sounds simple, right? Well, the second part is, I think, pretty simple to folks with a mind for mechanics, physics, the dynamics of power, cause and effect, and so on. That's the physics. Sure, you might need some trimming and tuning by folks with domain expertise, but generally speaking, it's a system of pulleys and ropes and levers. 

The life coach said something like, "It's the difference between doing while having uncertainty about whether you're going to succeed or fail, and having a program that you know you can follow, and if you follow it, you'll succeed."

Why wouldn't we all sign up to a program that we can follow, and follow it to success?

Ahhh, the multi-million dollar (literally) question. 

I think it's because we're afraid of really understanding the first part -- understanding what we love, and letting go of what we don't. We have tapes that say "success looks like this..."(see stressed-out working stiff at right), and we're not sure we want that. Or we have tapes that say, "You can't just do the things you love - life is hard!" Or we have tapes that say, "That's a stupid, low-value, low-esteem profession."

All those tapes block us from understanding what we really want. What we really love.  And when we build a process that includes all those tapes, the physics is not working with us at all. In fact, we're setting the physics up to work against what comes naturally to us. And then sheer force of will, willpower, determination, stubbornness, stress, and heart-attacks are required to achieve the goal.

Not very enticing, is it?

Nope. Not for me.

I want the physics to work in my favor. Not boring, or even necessarily easy (no "slacker" goals here), but certainly working with the momentum of my soul, rather than against it.

Thoughts? Comments? Have you set up your Rube-Goldberg success engine to leverage the momentum of your soul?