Friday, April 13, 2012

Success - It's all in the Physics...

I spoke to a life coach this morning, Dr. Liz Zed, recommended to me by my dear friend and colleague Ana Maria Sanchez. I had to admit it - I'm starting a new career (or, several) and it's just possible that I might need some help sorting things out and getting the traction 

I need to make my new life sustainable.

I've experienced a lot of healing and growth since I left high-tech at the end of 2009. So I'm a little more than 2 years into "whatever is next", and, frankly, I feel like a two-year old. 

Which is to say, I feel grand, healthy, and a little out of control, but very determined.

Lately, the realizations and clearing of old patterns has accelerated. I'd say since last May when I first had the opportunity to meet with Dakota elder Chief Golden Light Eagle, and then REALLY accelerated since the Winter Solstice of 2011.

So there I was this morning, talking to a life coach.

What did I learn? Well, it was a meandering conversation, as first "get to know you" conversations often are, but something subtle emerged that I wouldn't have been able to hear not that long ago. 

The nugget is this: Success is all in the physics.

Success isn't about doing a bunch of things you don't really want to do, gutting it out through pain and sweat and frustration. All that stuff feeds the ego - either the "I deserve to be punished" or the "I have to earn it through hard work" or the "I have something to prove" or any number of other mis-wired messages.

Rather, it's about discerning what one really, truly wants, and then setting up the scene so that doing what you want brings you success. All the moving parts are keyed to align with the effort that comes naturally for you, so once you engage the system, it's like the system sings along with you.

Sounds simple, right? Well, the second part is, I think, pretty simple to folks with a mind for mechanics, physics, the dynamics of power, cause and effect, and so on. That's the physics. Sure, you might need some trimming and tuning by folks with domain expertise, but generally speaking, it's a system of pulleys and ropes and levers. 

The life coach said something like, "It's the difference between doing while having uncertainty about whether you're going to succeed or fail, and having a program that you know you can follow, and if you follow it, you'll succeed."

Why wouldn't we all sign up to a program that we can follow, and follow it to success?

Ahhh, the multi-million dollar (literally) question. 

I think it's because we're afraid of really understanding the first part -- understanding what we love, and letting go of what we don't. We have tapes that say "success looks like this..."(see stressed-out working stiff at right), and we're not sure we want that. Or we have tapes that say, "You can't just do the things you love - life is hard!" Or we have tapes that say, "That's a stupid, low-value, low-esteem profession."

All those tapes block us from understanding what we really want. What we really love.  And when we build a process that includes all those tapes, the physics is not working with us at all. In fact, we're setting the physics up to work against what comes naturally to us. And then sheer force of will, willpower, determination, stubbornness, stress, and heart-attacks are required to achieve the goal.

Not very enticing, is it?

Nope. Not for me.

I want the physics to work in my favor. Not boring, or even necessarily easy (no "slacker" goals here), but certainly working with the momentum of my soul, rather than against it.

Thoughts? Comments? Have you set up your Rube-Goldberg success engine to leverage the momentum of your soul?


  1. I feel like this is what authors are attempting with self-publishing right now through Amazon, etc. And I feel like part of the reason that I, personally, have been fighting against the tidal wave toward self-publication is related to this too. I can't help but look at that path -- the path where I am in complete control, where there APPEARS to be a path toward success, if I just follow a few basic tenants (releasing multiple books/stories, linking them all back to one another, then packaging them again in collections and releasing those collections too)-- and wonder "But what if I fail here, too? What's left if I do?"

    I think maybe I'm not alone in having that fear of the path, because if we give ourselves all the advantages, and devote ourselves to the path for success, and still don't make it, how much worse does that failure feel? Is there anything left after that?

  2. Ahh! Very scary. Vertiginous, even. Well, that's the thing. The Fool, tarot card "0", says that the leap of faith is an essential act of belief in an abundant and benevolent universe. How do we know that the universe is abundant? Well, for starters, "Ex Nihilo...everything else follows." So, from nothing came ~ALL THIS~!

    Does it feel bad to fail when you've given all you've got? Of course. But, it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved (or have loved half-way, guarding our hearts). Better to have strived (striven?) with all one's might for that which might exceed our grasp, for it's not in the grasping, but in the striving. If you love what you do, then striving is a joy in itself.

    If you "fail" after all that, then perhaps consider the following: There is no correct path. There is only the path we choose. From the path we choose, we get experiences that are essential lessons. Teasing apart the data from the experience, and reapplying oneself after the discoveries of the experience is SO MUCH of the fun of life.

    In essence, it's not failure. It's experience. It's a resource. It's only failure if you take it personally -- as a personal *criticism* of you by the universe. It's not that, though. It's the universe offering illumination into aspects of you, your character, and the terrain. How beautiful and generous!

    Too happy a perspective? Alternatively, then, go with Thomas Edison. After 99 tries, he said, "I haven't failed. I've discovered 99 ways not to make a light bulb." ;-)