It's My Birthday!

Reflections on Entering "Area 51"...

First, I'd like to say, "Thank GOD I've made it this far!"

Second, I only have one thing on my birthday "gift registry", and all of you who stop by are welcome (indeed, encouraged... ;-) to give me one of these:

• ITEM: One moment over the next three days in which giver deliberately and gently cultivates beauty.

So, that's it!

Oh, wait. I never write blog posts that are that short. So, here are some observations.

At 51, some books are now incompatible with my eyes. And/or the length of my arms. I found a little pocket bible on the sidewalk this morning as I was taking a stroll. Couldn't see a thing. For all I know, it wasn't even a bible. (But it looked like one...)

I'm increasingly delighted with my life. I have blessings too numerous to articulate.

I have a very cool wife.

The best defense is a good offense. Over the last two days, I've gotten up early, and upon going out into my back yard, I've discovered an army of snails (both days!) on my fennel and coriander. Rather than try to "evacuate" them by tossing them in the garbage or something, I've decided that they'll live a life of plush luxury for the next seven days, eating fine greens. And then, they will become verrrry intimate with garlic and butter. The irony is, of course, that over the next seven days, they'll be eating lettuce from my garden. Go figure.

I'm still pretty agile. Trimmed the overgrown trees on the fenceline the other day. My neighbor was impressed with my monkey-like antics as I clambered around the tree.

What I'm afraid I look like...on a GOOD day!

I have one vanity for sure. I wish I hadn't lost so much of my hair. See left and below for a sampling of my consequent self-image. You can see why I would love to spontaneously manifest my former... hirsuteness... as a birthday present.

The bees are happy and busy. The cherry fruit-set looks to be very generous. Anticipating a delicious June and July.

Life can be fun when you're not all serious and grouchy and pressured. Who knew? (Besides Deb, of course...sheesh!)

I'm finally realizing that I'm OK just the way I am, even if I am a little unfinished.  That doesn't mean I intend to stop growing, of course. But I can take a little of the pressure off now and then. Achieving isn't everything.

There are moments when I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing - with my life, my career, my family, my obligations - everything. Then, something happens (small, big, serendipitous), and then I feel like maybe I'm not so lost after all.

I'm grateful for the beautiful home and garden that we get to live in. And for the weather here. Ahhhhh....!

I love redwood trees.

I love my dogs. I'm getting much better at relating to them. Really, it just takes a bit for me to relax into their vibe, instead of being all uptight and demanding. They're pretty cool. And quite willing to share an experience.

I could go on an on, but I have a million things that I get to do today, and this is only one of them. 

Uh oh...

Enjoy my birthday!

My "John Larroquette" look

The elder Keebler Elf

"SYNDROME" from The Incredibles (or, Jack Nicholson.)

Looking a bit like my older brother
(...oops! Sorry, Joe!)

I think I've tortured you all enough now...and now that I have not the tiniest shred of dignity remaining, I'm off to do...something else.

The Boys Are Back In Town!

(cue Thin Lizzy music...)


I know, I just wrote a post yesterday after a hellaciously long break, and here I am posting again less than 24 hours later.


But this one is short, I promise.


Mars is back.


Mars went direct last night. After 13 weeks in retrograde, he's back from vacation, and ready to come off the bench. Back into the game. I felt it. BOOOM. Like a muscle-car in high idle dropping into gear, but without the clanky lurch. It just felt like IMPULSION brought on line. But with the emergency brake still on. A horse, bridled but aching to run.


Ahhhh....


And, my birthday is on Thursday (Thor's day...). So me, Mars, and Thor are gonna have one rip-roaring, high-energy, kick-some-ass kind of launch for -my- second half. I turn 51. 

I'll keep you...ahem...posted :-)

Success - It's all in the Physics...

I spoke to a life coach this morning, Dr. Liz Zed, recommended to me by my dear friend and colleague Ana Maria Sanchez. I had to admit it - I'm starting a new career (or, several) and it's just possible that I might need some help sorting things out and getting the traction 

I need to make my new life sustainable.

I've experienced a lot of healing and growth since I left high-tech at the end of 2009. So I'm a little more than 2 years into "whatever is next", and, frankly, I feel like a two-year old. 

Which is to say, I feel grand, healthy, and a little out of control, but very determined.

Lately, the realizations and clearing of old patterns has accelerated. I'd say since last May when I first had the opportunity to meet with Dakota elder Chief Golden Light Eagle, and then REALLY accelerated since the Winter Solstice of 2011.

So there I was this morning, talking to a life coach.

What did I learn? Well, it was a meandering conversation, as first "get to know you" conversations often are, but something subtle emerged that I wouldn't have been able to hear not that long ago. 

The nugget is this: Success is all in the physics.

Success isn't about doing a bunch of things you don't really want to do, gutting it out through pain and sweat and frustration. All that stuff feeds the ego - either the "I deserve to be punished" or the "I have to earn it through hard work" or the "I have something to prove" or any number of other mis-wired messages.

Rather, it's about discerning what one really, truly wants, and then setting up the scene so that doing what you want brings you success. All the moving parts are keyed to align with the effort that comes naturally for you, so once you engage the system, it's like the system sings along with you.

Sounds simple, right? Well, the second part is, I think, pretty simple to folks with a mind for mechanics, physics, the dynamics of power, cause and effect, and so on. That's the physics. Sure, you might need some trimming and tuning by folks with domain expertise, but generally speaking, it's a system of pulleys and ropes and levers. 

The life coach said something like, "It's the difference between doing while having uncertainty about whether you're going to succeed or fail, and having a program that you know you can follow, and if you follow it, you'll succeed."

Why wouldn't we all sign up to a program that we can follow, and follow it to success?

Ahhh, the multi-million dollar (literally) question. 

I think it's because we're afraid of really understanding the first part -- understanding what we love, and letting go of what we don't. We have tapes that say "success looks like this..."(see stressed-out working stiff at right), and we're not sure we want that. Or we have tapes that say, "You can't just do the things you love - life is hard!" Or we have tapes that say, "That's a stupid, low-value, low-esteem profession."

All those tapes block us from understanding what we really want. What we really love.  And when we build a process that includes all those tapes, the physics is not working with us at all. In fact, we're setting the physics up to work against what comes naturally to us. And then sheer force of will, willpower, determination, stubbornness, stress, and heart-attacks are required to achieve the goal.

Not very enticing, is it?

Nope. Not for me.

I want the physics to work in my favor. Not boring, or even necessarily easy (no "slacker" goals here), but certainly working with the momentum of my soul, rather than against it.

Thoughts? Comments? Have you set up your Rube-Goldberg success engine to leverage the momentum of your soul?

Sharing with the Honeybees

Timing is Everything...

I've been thinking about getting a bee hive for several years now. We have a reasonably roomy yard. We have lots of fruit trees. In particular, it's important for us to have a healthy supply of bees around when the big cherry tree out front blooms. When blooms and bees connect, we receive a beautiful harvest.

Well, so I'd been thinking about getting a hive box, and learning how to keep bees, mostly because of the fruit trees, but also because - Bees are cool! And…honey!

So imagine my delight when, sometime this summer, a queen and her hive took up residence in a hollow in our maple tree out at the front of our yard. Very discrete, by the corner of the lot.

I was grateful for their presence, doing the work among the flowers. But I also wondered - would we somehow have a chance to receive a gift of honey? (I have done nothing to "prepare" to actively harvest the honey. No bee suit. No smoker. I was content just to have them there.)

We enjoyed watching the bees all last summer and fall. Winters, being mild here, don't really deter the bees.  So I would go out occasionally and say hello.

Then, some time last week, I went out to see them... and they were gone! There were no buzzing sounds, no little bodies busily doing bee business. All quiet. A fly or two. Some crawly bugs.

No bees.

I was a little disappointed and sad. I know bee hives don't last forever, but I thought, "Geez, at least it would have been nice for them to make it through to the cherry blossoming." But they were gone.

So I bravely grabbed a ladder out of the garage and propped it up against the tree.  I clambered up and peered inside.

Definitely no bees.

I reached my hand up and into the hole, and touched the comb. It was very light feeling. I grabbed it, tentatively at first, and then more firmly. I pulled and a piece broke off into my hand.

I pulled it out of the hole and examined it. Wow. Amazingly cool to see this really miraculously precise layout of hexagons built "by hand" from "hand-made" wax. Just stunning.

So I found a large plastic container and started pulling the comb out, a piece at a time. Beautiful beeswax. We would melt it down to make candles, I thought.  Mostly, the comb was empty. Here and there I found a chamber filled with pollen.


Then, as I reached further in, the comb had real heft. And as I grabbed and pulled, it became slick and sticky!

What an amazing thing. Big chunks of comb - two-sided, back-to-back chambers - filled with honey. Woo hoo!

So I pulled it all out, and began researching how to extract honey from the comb.

By the way, the honey is marvelous. Delicious and golden and sweet and tangy and raw. It's an amazing experience.
Yesterday was a beautiful day to be outside. So I went out front to pull some weeds. I looked over to the maple tree, fondly remembering the bee-ful activity and thinking again about the wonderful gift.

Wait! What's that? I looked again.

They're back.

The Sound of Mars at Play

Find Him Playing in the Crashing Surf

Last week I wrote about Mars in Retrograde, drawing the conclusion that it's really the effect of "Mars on Holiday" that we're experiencing - the "absence" of Mars, in a way.

In December, I pondered Mars at Play, but didn't really have a good handle on what kind of experience that would be.

But as I was getting the low-down on Mars in Retrograde, I received an additional bit of illumination. I was listening to Psychologically Ultimate Seashore, a 60 minute recording of the surf, and I realized - "There he is! And he's PLAYING!"

Contemplating it for a moment, and feeling into it, I realized - the POWER in the crashing surf is rambunctious, carousing, adventurous, and COMPLETELY without conflict. It's actually basking and rolling and expressing itself in the gentle, loving, and life-affirming container that is the water.

So there he was, playing in the surf. Relaxing, laughing, enjoying himself. Restoring himself. 

Mars on Holiday.

Interestingly, I've been feeling the need recently to grab my wet suit and head up the coast to Linda Mar (Spanish for Cute Sea) to do some body surfing. The cold Pacific on my hands, feet, and face. The roiling waves. The crashing tumult in my ears. The taste of salt water. 

Sounds like it will get my blood pumping, and I'll feel invigorated and refreshed, without the least bit of conflict or stress.

"Ahhhhhh...!"

By the time night falls, I'll be ready for a deep, sound sleep.

Retrograde: Mars Takes a Holiday

Anger Erupts as Discipline Wanes

Last night I was doing some deep journey work and got a bit of a surprise. I wasn't thinking particularly about Mars, nor was I seeking guidance from him, but apparently, he had something to share.

I've written recently about Mars, and Mars at play. (I've still been contemplating Mars at play - I hadn't really discovered anything solid until last night. More on that in my next post.)

More topically, we've all been contemplating Mars in Retrograde. Mars went retrograde on January 24th, and will continue in retrograde until April 14th.

This astrological moment is described as very significant. I've read some information from a few sources, but the information hasn't really "met" me in a way I can use.

Here's what Mars taught me last night. It's a little different from what you'll find in the books.

Mars in retrograde is Mars on vacation, seeking restoration, relaxation, and play.

What does that mean for us? I perceive that when Mars is on vacation (or resting), that HIS warrior discipline is withdrawn from our lives. Which means that we must rely on our OWN warrior discipline.

Where and when (and how) does HIS warrior discipline affect us?

Imagine that there is a warrior song being sung by a virtuoso. It's always being sung, so whenever you need to hear it, it's there. Whenever you run close to the edge, nearly slipping out of warrior discipline, you can catch the strains of the song, consciously or unconsciously, and it can help you get back into trim.

That means we actually battle with each other LESS often, and work our internal battle more completely, when Mars is singing.

What happens when the song stops?

We see an eruption of undisciplined, destructive, testy, angry, aggressive behavior. That awful "remainder" I wrote about begins to foul the room, our auras, our relationships.

Mars helps us develop our warrior selves, and in so doing he helps us work through our weaknesses - our dishonesty and lack of discipline. What we don't work through, we tend to hide - from ourselves and others. 

When Mars is no longer there to help us be warriors, these tawdry characteristics suddenly spill forth, sometimes billowing, sometimes leaking, depending on how impeccable a warrior we have been.

A friend noted recently that she's seen (and her friends have also reported) an eruption of anger among their circles of friends, families, and acquaintances, starting a few days ago.

I perceive that it is precisely the result of Mars on Holiday.

Are you feeling more angry? A little less in control? A tad more helpless in the face of obstacles, and more inclined to rage against them?

In the Beginning, There Was the Signal

Science's Digital Chickens Come Home (err...to the Library) to Roost

For those of you who know me well, you've probably heard some of my metaphysical and "deep physics" ideas about the structure of the universe.

Here's one of my favorites: The true fundamental building block of the universe is Information.

When you peer down, deeply down, into the fundamentals of matter (and energy) you find…nothing. Nothing concrete, that is. Quantum physics - the most successful theory in the history of the science* - tells us that elementary particles are not particles at all. The "Copenhagen Interpretation" (Neils Bohr & company) states that "there is no deep reality" beyond the illusion of the particles and waves (and they are illusions). Pretty weird.

I have always felt that there was something amiss with the Copenhagen Interpretation ("Gee, really?").

I've pondered this gap for a number of years, starting early in my career in the network technology business. Back then, I learned about something called "Information Theory" - actually the theory of how information (and how much information) can be stored or carried using certain technologies. And one part of it (the Nyquist Rate, for those who care) caught my attention, and looped me back to this problem of deep reality.

I got this crazy notion that deep reality, that which was beyond the illusory "material" world, was actually information. A probability wave is not an object, but an aspect of design, a blueprint so-to-speak. A field is not a "thing", but an expression of an effect (perhaps, of an "intent").

When you dig down deeply enough, you go beyond matter and quantized energy into a domain of description, of information. Of design. From there, one might say that all the blueprints of the Universe are stored in that mysterious vault often called the Akashic Records. Physicists just might agree.

For you science folks who are still with me, here's a snip from Wikipedia:

The Akashic Records (akasha is a Sanskrit word meaning "sky", "space" or "aether") is a term used in theosophy (and Anthroposophy) to describe a compendium of mystical knowledge encoded in a non-physical plane of existence. These records are described as containing all knowledge of human experience and the history of the cosmos.

The other day I saw an article in the Februay 2012 issue of Scientific American.  Craig Hogan and a crew at FermiLab is digging around in just this domain.

From the article,

"Physicists have, over the past couple of decades, uncovered profound insights into how the universe stores information - even going so far as to suggest that information, not matter and energy, constitutes the most basic unit of existence."

Ahhh, that feels good! And from here, the first words of the Gospel according to John make a whole lot more sense.

*Quantum Theory has never failed to accurately predict an experimental result (even when the predictions are so screwy that the physicists dread to discover that the universe actually works that way...)